Rachel Searle
Mrs. Boresen
Expos. Hour 4
Definition Essay: Family
2-2-09
Define a Family
Family: The basic unit of society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also: any various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family (Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary). This is how a family would be defined, but the word “family” can also be alive, in action. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary also defines family as “a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation.” You can be in a family because you are all related by blood, but you can also be an acting part of a family because you are all united. Erma Bombeck said, “The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us together” (Quote Garden). She said, “The thread that bound us together,” this means that families are just people bound together. The unit of people known as family doesn’t have to be related physically, just in purpose. A good example of this is the Roosevelt High School cross country team. When one joins this team they join a family. This team helps each other through hard practices, long races, but also life; each teammate cares about the other one. The team is not actually related, but they are still like a family. Family has grown and changed throughout the years and there are many different kinds.
Family, like people, come in all types, shapes, colors and sizes; a few variations are families from other cultures, single-parent families, and the “normal” family. The article “Modern Couple Follows Old Trail” relates the wedding of two people on a Hopi reservation. Delight Dalton and Frank Poocha were married in the Hopi fashion with their two daughters at the ceremony. Frank’s dad had left a cow for each of his sons for when they got married in the traditional ritual, but Frank was the only one of his brothers to follow the tradition (1-4). In India they still follow the tradition of a dowry which sometimes breaks up families as described in the article “What Am I Worth.” This article told the story of Nirmala, a wealthy young woman in Bangalore. She was promised to a doctor and was given with a huge dowry; this included jewelry and a car. After the wedding her husband’s parents wanted more. They pestered her so much that within a month after the marriage began, she hung herself (1-2). African families are also different. Many African families are very large due to polygamy, which most times is forced on women. These women do not want to be one of five wives (“Laws of Love,” 3). Single-parent families are increasing immensely and are another kind of family. As found in the article “Single Mothers Many Faces” by Sara Eckel, the number of single mothers has increased from 18% in 1980 to 23% in 1998 and is still increasing (2). Single parents are sometimes looked down on and called neglectful, but this is a stereotype. Michael Phelps and his mom are wonderful examples of this; he had a single mom but she always supported him and now he has the most Olympic gold medals. Finally there is the “normal” family which contains a mom a dad and one or several children. Even though this is considered the ideal family they have differences as well. Some are dysfunctional, like the Simpson family from The Simpsons. Even though they fight all the time and have crazy adventures they are still a family and still love each other. On the other hand there are the “perfect” families, like 7th Heaven. Obviously most families are not like this, there are occasional fights, but everyone in a family loves each other because they are bonded and united.
The structure and idea of family has changed a lot over time. Dorothy Clune tells about how she has seen the evolution of the family in the article “Families the Way We Lived” by Kathleen Shuckel. Dorothy was born in 1904. She has seen how the typical family went from a dad, a mom, and their children to the varieties we have today. She said, “Tested by two world wars, the Depression, and the sexual revolution, family ties still hold us together” (1). There used to be no such thing as divorce; it used to be that one would get married out of convenience, not love, and stay together until death. This is still the case in some places, but in most of the world it is not. Now people get married for love and if sadly their marriage does not work then they can separate. From this we get single-parent families, step-families, and half siblings. But also there are kids that live in foster care or are adopted or live with other relatives besides their parents. Even homosexual couples start families. There are so many kinds of families it is hard to list them all. My family would be considered the “standard” family; I have a father, mother, and three younger brothers. We do fight occasionally but still care deeply for each other, like any other family, but we are far from normal. The people in my family are some of the craziest people you could ever meet and that makes life so much more interesting.
Everyone has some type of a family; it’s just the kind that differs. Jane Howard said, “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one” (Quote Garden). The variety of families is immense. There are families from different cultures, different backgrounds, step-families, in-laws, half siblings, foster homes, etc.; this list could go on forever. Or your family could simply be a group of people you are united with; in the end everyone has one. The best question to really ask yourself is: Are you a part of a family?
